p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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