I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
