Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
