So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
