We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
