My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You work out of a Hotel?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
