Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
