I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
