Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
