dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
