Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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