lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
