Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
