I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
