a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
