It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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