the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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