Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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