david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
