8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
