I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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