youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
