Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
