Apparently you make a good broom.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
