If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
