I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
