The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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