You just made me feel so damn special
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
