Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
