I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
