i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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