if you like me you must not know who I am
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
