Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
