Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
