Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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