I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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