PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
