Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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