I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
