After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
