She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
