She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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