That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
