Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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