gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
