why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
