i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
