I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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