i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
