I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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