trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
